Sausalito
May 7 – 13, 2020
Screwing Around: Police received a call reporting two subjects arrived on the dock in a skiff and then “began fornicating.” Police went out to see for themselves, but found no unauthorized fornication. Police now believe they were punked.
Homeless Encampment: A report of a homeless encampment “building up again” on Turney Street was reported. The caller said the inhabitant was “screaming and yelling” at people who passed by and the caller was afraid “the guy was going to become physical.” Police made no response because the encampment was on private property.
The Nose: A persistent panhandler on Bridgeway with something dreadfully wrong with his nose was called into police. Police rolled and sniffed around.
Group on Beach: A citizen called police on a group of 30 people on the beach not social distancing. Police checked it out. They were observing proper rules. Contacted the complainer and explained the rules.
Screamer: A loud neighborhood party took place on Marie Street and a neighbor said she heard a girl scream, but she wasn’t sure if it was a painful scream or a playful scream.
Wall Boys: Two men walking on the beach peed on a wall and were caught on tape doing the dirty deed. Police called.
Fairfax
May 4 – 10, 2020
Sauna Noise: On Manor Road a neighbor reported another neighbor’s sauna pump was making noise. Wanted the police to come out and take a decibel reading. We are not making this up.
Sex On The Bridge: A man and a woman in their 50s were seen having sex on the bridge near the ball field. Refraining from comment.
Rifle Range Trespass: Camp Tamarancho on Iron Springs Road reported of a burglary at the rifle range. Unknown if anything was taken. The range does not hold weapons there. The person who called, however, speculated that the criminal may have been looking for a gun.
Vandalized: On Bolinas Road a vehicle was reported vandalized. Tape in the form of an “X” was placed on the windows and a sign was taped to the front windshield.
Slap Walker: A walker reported walking by another person on Forrest Avenue. As they passed, the man slapped the other “really hard” on the arm. Police rolled to the scene, but the alleged arm slapper was nowhere in sight.
No Masks: In front of a cafe on Broadway, three women on bicycles were seen chumming it up and — OMG! — they were not wearing masks. Police were called. Log note only.
Sittin’ ‘n Spittin’: A man was reported sitting on Bolinas Road without a mask and constantly spitting on the street.
Mill Valley
May 7 – 14, 2020
Smokers: A citizen told police he’s been seeing groups of people gathered around the water tanks on Avalon Avenue. He reported it because he was afraid of wildfires starting from the smokers.
Mail Theft: A resident on Edgewood Avenue reported mail theft. Police told him to contact the postal service.
Boys On Bikes: Thirteen boys were farting around on their bikes on Marguerite Avenue, jumping their bikes into a puddle and not social distancing. Police rolled and told the boys to scram.
Parking Bully: A resident of Hamilton Drive reported to police that a neighbor has been bullying other neighbors about parking spots. It had something to do with putting up fake handicapped parking signs. Police checking.
RV Man: A man in an RV parked his vehicle on Blithedale and started yelling racial profanities at cars near him.
Only in MV: A woman received a threatening note. She notified the police. The note demanded $2,000 in — wait for it — bitcoin.
Bad TV: A group of high schoolers were throwing a football at an old TV on Miller Avenue. They were also whacking it with baseball bats.
Sad Man: A woman from Fairfield passed by a homeless man on Redwood Highway Frontage Road. She said he looked “scared, worried or hungry.” In tears, she asked the police to check on him. They did. He had a warrant out on him. No good deed goes unpunished.
Spitter: A man on Camino Alto was acting goofy and spitting on people. Police rolled but did not find the character.
Social Distancing: A caller reported to police that a business on the Redwood Highway Frontage Road was open and had at least 65 people in the store, making it impossible to social distancing. Police rolled and found no violation.
Bad Call: A citizen called the police about people gathering at picnic tables where it says no picnicking is allowed. Also no social distancing being observed. Police rolled. The park was open, picnicking was allowed, and no one was at the picnic tables.
No Mask: A resident called police on a FedEx driver she said was not wearing a mask and delivering packages with the packages very close to his mouth. Police talked with the complainer.
Social Distancing Vigilante: A woman complained that she has called three times about people in the park off of Sycamore Avenue not social distancing. Police rolled. No one was in the park.
Neighbor Beef: Police were called to Rose Avenue about a staircase that the neighbor believes encroaches on his property line. Police told the neighbors to seek mediation with City Hall.
No Mask: A woman freaked patrons out when she entered a laundromat on Miller Avenue not wearing a mask and talking to people. Police called.
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