Mill Valley
May 14 – 21
Howl Goes Bad: People on Underhill Road went out for the 8 p.m. howl only to be yelled at by a neighbor who said if anyone howls tonight he will sexually assault them, male or female. People were, of course, weirded out by the aggression and called the police.
Shut The Front Door: Police found the front door to a home open on Camino Alto. Checked it out. Appears to be an oversight.
Noisy: A tearful resident of Elaine Avenue called and asked police to quiet down her neighbors, who are “blasting” music. There is someone in the house very ill.
Hit And Run: A resident on Hillside Avenue reported that a furniture truck smacked his Lexus while driving by.
Bloody iPhone: A citizen found an iPhone in a pool of blood on Sunnyside Avenue. Turned into police.
Roomies: A woman went to the hospital and while she was out her roommate changed the locks on the house. Police gave the locked-out roomie advice.
Non-Resident Hiker: People who live on Tartan Road near the Tartan Trail have noticed a non-resident regularly driving her car to the trail and hiking. Neighbors have talked to the elderly woman and told her to move along during the quarantine rules. The old woman was having none of it and yelled at the people to stop being such sheepish busibodies.
BB Gun: A woman brought in to police a BB gun for destruction.
Hedge Issues: A woman on Locust Avenue called police about her neighbor again cutting the hedge which she believes is on her property. It’s an ongoing issue for which there have been previous shouting matches.
Yelling Woman: A woman tucked in between offices on Blithedale Avenue was shouting at all comers. Making no sense. A do-gooder asked if she was okay and she yelled at him, too. Police moved her along.
Burglary: A home burglary was reported on Molino Avenue. Access made through an unlocked sliding door.
No Face Mask: A clerk at a story on Blithedale Avenue refused to wear a face mask. A customer called the cops.
Social Distancing Police: A citizen called police on a park full of people in Mill Valley. Said they were way too close to each other.
Not Gary Player: A man wearing all black was wandering around the 7th hole swinging a club. He appears homeless and has also peed in front of children. Police told the man in black — not Gary Player, BTW, to keep it zipped and move along.
Someone In House: A resident on Rose Avenue called police because someone was in their house. No voices were heard, but they could hear someone running upstairs. The couple holed up in a room with a baseball bat for protection. Police rolled and checked out the house. No one was present. Raccoons suspected.
Darn Skaters: A citizen reported to police that two kids were skateboarding in the middle of the road. Police caught up to them and said “stop it”.
Mom I’m Sorry: A loud screaming match between a mother and son was heard by neighbors on Sycamore Avenue. Police rolled but the two were gone. The only phrase heard was from the son who yelled: “Mom I’m sorry.”
Only In Mill Valley: A resident of Cypress Avenue called police because a woman who lives in her car was video taping him in an argument over where his nanny can park.
Fe-Mail: A woman set up camp inside the post office. Police told her that was not allowed. She moved along.
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