I’ve never seriously shopped at a Louis Vuitton store because, well, it’s expensive and there’s nothing in the whole freakin’ place I’d want for myself or for anyone else.
Yet, now comes the bizarre story that a large gang of thieves stormed the Louis Vuitton in San Francisco and cleaned the place out. Something similar happened in Walnut Creek soon thereafter. Reports say about 80 people — 80 people? — hit the Nordstrom’s store, clearing out the shelves and escaping in a traffic jam of parked get-a-way cars. The media is calling it a “flash-mob” crime.
Here in Marin we’ve seen low-rent versions of this kind of criminality. A car full of people pull up to a Walgreens and mass-shoplift cosmetics. The Lululemon store in Corte Madera in October was hit by a gang of 5 in one blue Toyota. Hitting Apple stores for an Apple watch or two was all the rage here a couple of years ago.
But this is 80 people in coordinated looting. Last time I checked into this story, authorities said 9 people were arrested and charged with felony theft. Hope the newspapers in San Francisco follow these cases extensively and all the way to the end, because I’m betting that none of the people apprehended in this will do anything close to felony time.
Bet me.
JOURNALISM & RITTENHOUSE
Keep an eye out for libel lawsuits against the progressive media post the Kyle Rittenhouse acquittal. He may have a case, I am sorry to say. The reporting and ensuing narrative on the case was wildly inaccurate in light of the facts established during trial. Stand by for a lot of discussion on the concepts of malice and disregard for the truth.
STAT THAT
A new study indicates that 90% of Americans use their cell phone while on the toilet. Ick.
MY BAD KNEE
When you read this I will be 5 weeks clear of total knee replacement surgery. I won’t lie to you, it’s a brutal surgery and very painful. But, I’m glad to report that I’m at the point of seeing light at the end of the tunnel. With luck, I’ll be cleared for travel soon. Writing this column has kept me sane during recuperation. Also, if I’ve said anything stupid in the last five weeks or so, blame it on that Devil drug oxycodone.
CARDS & LETTERS
Paul from Novato wrote me a little note saying he was double-paying his annual subscription to the Novato Advance because he loves the newspaper and “we appreciate still having a local newspaper.” Hearts and flowers, Paul. Hearts and flowers.”
Another Novatoan, Larry, wrote to wish me well on my knee replacement. He wrote: “We appreciate your view(s) on the world and your sense of humor! Happy Thanksgiving & be well.”
Our readers are the best of Marin. Muchas gracias, Larry.
ONE MORE THING
— There’s a post-Thanksgiving piece of fudge pie in the fridge with the note “Don’t eat me.” Now there’s an empty plate in the fridge with a note: “Don’t tell me what to do.”
— Due to massive increases in deliveries, Fedex and UPS have joined forces to become Fed-Up.
— Honey is the tastiest of all insect vomits.
— You forgot to turn your bathroom scales back 5 pounds at 1 a.m. before Thanksgiving, didn’t you?
— The difference between a cat and a comma: One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Thanks for reading. Please, be kind to those you meet, laugh a little and always question authority.
(Sherman Frederick is an award-winning journalist and publisher of Marin’s community newspapers — the Novato Advance, San Rafael News-Pointer, Mill Valley Herald, Ross Valley Reporter, Twin City Times and the Sausalito Marin Scope. He is co-founder of Battle Born Media, a news organization dedicated to the preservation of community newspapers. You can reach him by email at shermfrederick@gmail.com.)
I loved this one