Properly Subversive: Is Marin really saving the planet one leaf blower at a time?

Properly Subversive/Sherman R. Frederick

At the risk of sounding like a lone wolf howling at shadows in Marin’s vast wilderness of virtue signalling, may I respectfully ask for a smidge of sanity to show we’re not as delusional as we sound when we claim to save the planet one gas-powered leaf blower at a time.

Seriously, folks, a little self-awareness would be a healthy sign, wouldn’t it? I know I’m not the only one who finds it both charming and goofy when town councils ban innocent garden tools and then give themselves a group hug for “doing their part” to reverse climate change. 

The truth is we’re not reversing anything. In fact, global energy-related carbon dioxide emissions rose by 6% to 36.3 billion tonnes in 2021, the highest-ever level. And by the end of 2022, we’ll have set a new record. There aren’t enough zeros to measure how little Marin contributes to the planet’s atmosphere, good or bad. 

Who are we trying to fool? We’re at that point in the movie “Jaws” where the guy finally sees the enormity of the shark and says  “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

Hell, even if Marin could turn back the clock on our quaint car-centric, bedroom county and force everyone to live like the Miwok a thousand years ago, Marin still wouldn’t matter.

And, that’s the point. Marin will never alter the trajectory of climate change. We’re not strip mining for lithium or coal here with a fleet of big ol’ diesel trucks working 24/7 from Sausalito to Tomales Bay. We’re just a sleepy little piece of the planet made up mostly of open space. 

That’s the unvarnished truth of it. Somebody here needs to say this out loud every once in a while. Otherwise, some will start to think that people in Marin, with our big talk about fixing global warming and our pretentious ordinances on leaf blowers, actually are batsh*t crazy.

We’re not crazy. 

Still stoned from the 60s, maybe. 

But not delusional …

… are we?

HELLO, DIABLO

Hey, while we’re on the topic of devil power, readers grounded in reality will be interested to know that America’s No. 1 progressive environmentalist, Joe Biden, is giving PG&E $1.1 billion to keep California’s nuclear power plant open. The Diablo Canyon reactor is our only remaining nuclear power plant. It provides roughly 10 percent of the state’s electricity. I do not know how many gas-powered leaf blowers are used to keep the grounds free of leaves. Somebody should find out because, you know, stopping that could make a big difference.

ONE MORE THING

– It’s ironic that the two o’s in the word “cooperate” require their own different sound. 

– Can we get a drag queen in Florida to adopt the stage name “Rhonda Santis.”

– I fell off a 50-foot ladder today. Thankfully, I was only on the first step.

– Holiday Tip No. 1: There is no “we” in chocolate.

– Holiday Tip No. 2: When taking home pictures for your Christmas newsletter, be sure to check the mirror. (See below.)

That’ll do for this week. Thanks for reading. I hope you had the best possible Thanksgiving. Until next week avoid soreheads, laugh a little, and always question authority. 

(“Properly Subversive” is a commentary written by Sherman R. Frederick for Marinscope Community Newspapers, the “mother ship” of the Novato Advance, San Rafael News-Pointer, Mill Valley Herald, Ross Valley Reporter, Twin City Times and the Sausalito Marin Scope. Mr. Frederick is an award-winning journalist and co-founder of Battle Born Media, a news organization dedicated to the preservation of community newspapers. You can reach him by email at shermfrederick@gmail.com.)