DEEP THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Just like underwear, a big nose is no reason to not wear a mask properly.
Libra — Sept. 23 thru Oct. 22
People who eat Triscuit crackers, might also gnaw on the wicker furniture. Now you know.
Scorpio — Oct. 23 thru Nov. 21
This will be an excellent week for you to calculate how much sleep you’ll get if you fall asleep right now.
Sagittarius — Nov. 22 thru Dec. 21
Congratulations, you have been named in the top 10 percent of people in Marin who can forget someone’s name 30 seconds after they tell you. Your certificate is in the mail.
Capricorn — Dec. 22 thru Jan. 19
You are a master at making plans and then immediately regretting making plans.
Aquarius — Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
You will be deeply touched this week … when your doctor tells you that you have a healthy prostate.
Pisces — Feb. 19 — March 20
On at least three occasions this week, you will dig through the trash to find the box with the directions you’ve already forgotten.
Aries – May 21 thru April 19
There’s a new Pizza/Buddhist Temple combo restaurant in Mill Valley. It’s motto is: “Give Pizza Chance.”
Taurus – April 20 thru May 20
This is the day you should subscribe to this newspaper. One full year for not much at all for a person of your means. See Page 3A.
Gemini — May 21 thru June 20
She’ll leave a note on the fridge this week that says: “This isn’t working. Goodbye.” But you will open the fridge anyway and discover that it’s working just fine.
Cancer — June 21 thru July 22
You gave up quail for Lent. We recommend you keep that bit of self-discipline to yourself.
Leo — July 23 thru Aug. 22
You will work on being less condescending to people by reminding them that “condescending” means talking down to people.
Virgo — Aug. 23 thru Sept. 22
You are right to wonder how boys are supposed to write their names in the snow, if they aren’t taught to write in cursive.
(A subscription to this newspaper is in your immediate future. See Page 3A. Those who subscribe today will receive one full year of good luck.)