Sausalito
Sept. 17 – 22, 2020
Ay Chihuahua: A skinny man in dark clothes threw bottles at a tan Chihuahua dog on leash on Ebbtide Avenue. Police rolled to the scene but found no evidence of a crime. Chihuahua’s are small but quick. Hard to hit when you’ve been drinking the alcohol in those bottles.
Shaggy: A man described as having “shaggy shoulder length hair” sat in front of the post office early one morning and yelled at children. Police checked it out and arrested Shaggy for public drunkenness.
Oops: A “female locked her keys and her dog in her car” and called 911. Got disconnected before dispatcher could tell her to call for a tow.
Old Yeller: A man was observed yelling at people on Bridgeway and jumping in and out of traffic. Police checked it out but did not see him breaking any laws. Talked to him anyway and in police lingo, “moved him along.”
Car Sleeper: A citizen witnessed a homeless woman in her 60s sleeping in her car on Ebbtide Avenue. She consumed a bottle of wine and threw it onto the street. Trouble brewing, the citizen said to the police.
Sweaty Man: A citizen saw a sweaty man duck into the bushes. He acted aggressively and appeared to be on something. Police talked to Mr. Sweaty. He did appear to be high, but he agreed not to bother anyone and go home. And so, he was “moved along.”
Par-Tay: A loud party with “music and yelling” was reported on Sausalito Boulevard. Police told the resident about complaints. The resident shut the party down.
Unlawful Napping: A citizen asked police to do a “welfare check” on a young man sleeping on the ground on Napa Street. Subject was woken up and “moved along.”
Doodle Alert: A large grown Doodle was seen off leash on Valley Street. Owner tried to call it back to no avail. Police contacted the owner and told her to leash up her doodle from now on.
It Can Happen: A man dropped his cell phone and it slipped between the planks on the Boardwalk. Police told the man to contact the harbormaster for help.
Blue Underwear: Just because you wear blue underwear doesn’t mean you are Superman. In this case it means your jeans were so low that witnesses from afar could identify the color of your underwear. Police talked to Mr. Blue Underwear Man. Advised him that Superman wore red underwear and told complainants that the man, while climbing about dockside, was “being himself” and no identifiable crime was committed.
Novato
Sept. 14 – 20, 2020
Very Suspicious: In the words of Col. Wilhelm Klink of Hogan’s Heroes, things were very suspicious in Novato during this reporting period. There were 36 listings on the department’s cop log that used the phrase “suspicious circumstances” to describe the report to which the police responded. There were also a few calls for burglary, public drunkenness and a few welfare checks sprinkled in for good measure.
Postscript: The Novato Police Department works as hard as any law enforcement agency. Our reporters have seen them in action. They are good. But a previous anti-transparency administration spent many bucks years ago for a high-tech 911 reporting system that is designed to reveal as little information as possible to citizens. It’s working. Sadly.
Mill Valley
Sept. 17 – 23, 2020
Whack-a-Doodle: A woman saw a man in a parked car on Miller Avenue masturbating. She called police to check it out.
Dog Attack: A man walking on Cascade Drive was jumped by two off-leash dogs. They knocked him to the ground and bit him. He declined medical attention.
Parents Contacted: Two boys were seen drunk as skunks in a parking lot on Blithedale. Police detained them and called their parents to pick them up. Worse than jail.
Live Ammo: Someone left a large amount of shotgun shells by a dumpster. A citizen called the police to have them safely taken away.
No-Masked Man: A man wearing no mask went around Hamilton Drive tearing down social distancing signs and throwing them in the trash.
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