Properly Subversive/Sherman R. Frederick
The news advisory from the Marin County Public Health Department read: “New Public Health Dashboard: Local Data for Local Action.”
Local data, of course, is a good thing. The more we know about our community, the better action we can take. So, we now have six dashboards, dear Marin-ers – one on communicable diseases, another on fatal overdoses, hepatitis C, COVID-19 and life expectancy.
I immediately visited the life expectancy dashboard because it’s the ultimate test of how well we’re doing in the unicorn quest to achieve equity in Marin. The dashboard says we’re failing right now. For example, Marin people who live the longest are white people in Waldo Point — 92-years-old. People who get to the mortuary too early are Black people in Marin City – 77-years-old). Unfortunately, the dashboard outlines no concrete plan to fix this. I, however, being a big fan of the Twilight Zone and Black Mirror, have some ideas.
No. 1: Give residents in Waldo Point $1 million if they will relocate to Marin City and promise to die there.
No. 2: Overdoses in young testosterone enhanced Marin men drive up premature deaths. That’s just a fact. So, we get D.A. Lori Frugoli to start a restorative justice program in which men under 30 charged with drug crimes may expunge their records if they apologize and then agree to identify as, and transition into, women.
No. 3: Cribbing from the plots of the two old movies – “Logan’s Run” and “Soylent Green” – let’s instruct the Health Department to install crystal life clocks on the palm of every person’s left hand when they report for a COVID-19 booster. Then, we set the timers for 70 years. When the clock goes off, you show up at the “carousel” inside the Marin Civic Center where you will be recycled and sold as organic protein wafers at the Sunday farmer’s market. We’ll die younger, but at least we’ll achieve equity.
Hey, somebody’s gotta come up with a plan to go with our fancy new dashboard.
WHIPPERSNAPPERS
While we’re on the topic of age, you may be interested to know that new census data shows the median age in Marin is just a smidge over 48 years old. So, if I understand correctly what that means, half of us are under 48 and half of us are over 48.
As a reference point, San Francisco posts a median age of 40.5. Whippersnappers!
ZOMBIE TOWN
For Marin-ers, going into the city isn’t what it used to be. Pre-COVID, the place bustled with thousands of office workers. But with the pandemic ghosting the city’s office buildings, normal commerce has dramatically changed.
The San Francisco Chronicle carried a story on this recently, starting out with Marin’s own Equator Coffee. Equator CEO JP Lachance is quoted as saying: “It makes it challenging for us and every other lunch restaurant, dry cleaner — the small businesses that previously relied on those office employees.”
The Equator store in downtown SF has yet to reopen. Also gone are the Creamery, Pentacle Coffee and the Blue Bottle Coffee location at Mint Plaza.
Sad, really.
NOVATO TV
If you’re interested in local government (and if you’re reading this newspaper, I know that you are) you’ll be glad to know that the City of Novato and Community Media Center of Marin have reached an agreement for countywide television programming.
Novato Community Television (NCTV) channels available on Comcast channels 26, 27, 30 and AT&T channel 99 will change to the same Marin TV channels available throughout the County.
Novato City Council and Planning Commission meetings will be broadcast on either Channel 27 or Channel 30 as scheduling allows. The City will continue to livestream City Council and Planning Commission meetings on its website at novato.org/watchmeetings, as well as on Zoom.
ONE MORE THING
– Please do not wear flip-flops if your feet look like you could swoop down out of the sky and snatch your dinner from the lake.
– The worst part about parallel parking is the witnesses.
– Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I’ve switched the laundry yet.
Thanks for reading. Until next week, avoid knuckleheads, laugh a little and always question authority.
(“Properly Subversive” is a commentary written by Sherman R. Frederick for Marinscope Community Newspapers, the “mother ship” of the Novato Advance, San Rafael News-Pointer, Mill Valley Herald, Ross Valley Reporter, Twin City Times and the Sausalito Marin Scope. Mr. Frederick is an award-winning journalist and co-founder of Battle Born Media, a news organization dedicated to the preservation of community newspapers. You can reach him by email at shermfrederick@gmail.com.)
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