DEEP THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas paper wrapping tube is still fun to BONK someone on the head with.
Libra — Sept. 23 thru Oct. 22
You will be deeply touched this week … when your doctor tells you that you have a healthy prostate.
Scorpio — Oct. 23 thru Nov. 21
You are right to wonder how boys are supposed to write their names in the snow, if they aren’t taught to write in cursive.
Sagittarius — Nov. 22 thru Dec. 21
You want to get back in shape, but you’re waiting to see if the world will end before putting any real effort into it.
Capricorn — Dec. 22 thru Jan. 19
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you made a bad choice. Deal with it.
Aquarius — Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
People who eat Triscuit crackers, also gnaw on the wicker furniture.
Pisces — Feb. 19 — March 20
We know you are 100% in favor of vacations. But the question was “vaccinations.”
Aries – May 21 thru April 19
You know you’re old when “friends with benefits” means someone who can drive at night.
Taurus – April 20 thru May 20
Yes, mother, it is rude to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it was a rescue.
Gemini — May 21 thru June 20
Just like underwear, a big nose is no reason to not wear a mask.
Cancer — June 21 thru July 22
Even a 12-inch king makes a great ruler.
Leo — July 23 thru Aug. 22
The kids joke about your memory. But they won’t be laughing come Christmas when there are no eggs under the tree.
Virgo — Aug. 23 thru Sept. 22
You will carry all the groceries on one arm. But your keys will be in the wrong pocket.
(A subscription to this newspaper is in your immediate future. Call 415-898-7084. Ask for Donna.)
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