DEEP THOUGHTS: Lost time is never found again.
Libra — Sept. 23 thru Oct. 22
Venus has entered it’s 14th phase, which means anyone who sends you a YouTube video and calls it research may be blocked without any astrological consequence.
Scorpio — Oct. 23 thru Nov. 21
Same as above, but add those who use the word “sheeple.”
Sagittarius — Nov. 22 thru Dec. 21
You woke up determined to eat right. But that was four hours ago when you were younger and full of hope.
Capricorn — Dec. 22 thru Jan. 19
Think twice about a guy who fills out a rental application with the job description: “Self employed street pharmacist.”
Aquarius — Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
When your husband makes you mad, a helpful spiritual exercise is to look at him through your fork and pretend he is in jail.
Pisces — Feb. 19 — March 20
The new moon means that your children will call it “yelling” when actually it is “motivational speaking for the selective listener.”
Aries – May 21 thru April 19
This week you will take solace in knowing that “Taco Cat” spelled backwards is “Taco Cat.”
Taurus – April 20 thru May 20
Neptune has entered a bad phase. So, when you pass a road sign that says “Falling Rocks” what that really means is “Life’s a Lottery. Be Lucky.”
Gemini — May 21 thru June 20
God put hair on your head to remind you that you can’t control everything.
Cancer — June 21 thru July 22
Just be honest with people: Tell them that while COVID-19 is almost over, you still want some people to stay away from you.
Leo — July 23 thru Aug. 22
Sixty-three Earths can fit inside Uranus. And one day you will be mature enough to read that without laughing. But not today.
Virgo — Aug. 23 thru Sept. 22
If you own a 9×13 casserole dish, you can become a Baptist.
Leave a Reply