Libra — Sept. 23 thru Oct. 22
Friends don’t tell friends that 1980 was 40 years ago.
Scorpio — Oct. 23 thru Nov. 21
You will walk back to the car to get your mask several times this week.
Sagittarius — Nov. 22 thru Dec. 21
Marin gardening tip: When you bury a body, cover it up with endangered plants. It will never be dug up.
Capricorn — Dec. 22 thru Jan. 19
Your best friend in San Diego just discovered that Fox News has absolutely no news about foxes.
Aquarius — Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
You will rethink key relationships over that intervention for alcoholism staged by the very people who make you want to drink.
Pisces — Feb. 19 — March 20
You have been in a Waffle House at 3 a.m. You rule.
Aries – May 21 thru April 19
Hear this: Those who put sugar on their grits will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Taurus – April 20 thru May 20
Venus is in your collaborative corner this week. Yeah, we don’t quite know what that means, either. But, please know that this advice and $2.50 will get you a medium coffee at Starbucks. Enjoy the morning.
Gemini — May 21 thru June 20
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you made a bad choice.
Cancer — June 21 thru July 22
You will rise and shine. You should not have eaten that packet of yeast and can of shoe polish.
Leo — July 23 thru Aug. 22
Nothing says “I mean business“ like using a shopping cart at a liquor store.
Virgo — Aug. 23 thru Sept. 22
If the election went your way, congratulations. If it didn’t, Marin County offers excellent mental health help.
(Novato residents may subscribe to the Novato Advance and get this and more important news items delivered to their doorstep. Call 415-892-1516. Still only $59 per year.)