DEEP THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: How weird is 2020? It’s legal to smoke weed at a family gathering, but illegal to hold a family gathering.
Libra — Sept. 23 thru Oct. 22
Important safety tip: When your significant other asks “what did you say?” that’s not a request to repeat it.
Scorpio — Oct. 23 thru Nov. 21
Those who put sugar on their grits will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Sagittarius — Nov. 22 thru Dec. 21
If the election went your way, congratulations. If it didn’t, Marin County offers excellent mental health help.
Capricorn — Dec. 22 thru Jan. 19
Why doesn’t anybody disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore?
Aquarius — Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
Red Flag of the Week: If before making an important decision you say “life is short.”
Pisces — Feb. 19 — March 20
It’s always bothersome when Wal-Mart doesn’t have what you want, so you have to go home, change out of your pajamas, and go to Target.
Aries – May 21 thru April 19
You want to get back in shape, but you’re waiting to see if the world will end before putting any real effort into it.
Taurus – April 20 thru May 20
Your desire to act fair will be challenged once again by your daughter.
Gemini — May 21 thru June 20
You’ll be invited to an Amish New Year’s Eve Party. You will partly like it’s 1899.
Cancer — June 21 thru July 22
Believe in yourself. If cauliflower can become pizza dough, anything is possible.
Leo — July 23 thru Aug. 22
You have an irritating habit of grabbing the tongs and clicking them together like a crab.
Virgo — Aug. 23 thru Sept. 22
Barbie didn’t give you a poor body image. It taught you that you can’t reattach a head once removed.
(A subscription to this newspaper is in your immediate future. Call 415-898-7084. Ask for Donna.)
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