Properly Subversive/Sherman R. Frederick
I resent people fooling around with the literary classics of my youth.
Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn has been under fire for years. Twain used the “N-word.” Some want to change it to “slave,” to fit the modern ear. More recently, the publishers of Agatha Christie’s work plan to scrub her novels of words like “Oriental,” “Gypsy” and Native” in future printings. And now the keepers of Ian Fleming’s James Bond franchise are under pressure to make the 007 character less of, well, a sexist playboy.
I find this kind of wet-rag do-goodism irritating.
Mark Twain and Agatha Christie can fend for themselves. I must come to the defense of James Bond as he embodies a certain teen angst in American males of my vintage. I ask you, what would a James Bond be without his playboy vibe?
I suppose you could spoof the whole idea of making James Bond comply to the standards of a “modern man” with a script in which other female agents report Bond to HR and he gets put on probation and sent to a re-education school secretly run by Spectre. In the end, Bond sees through the diabolical ruse, seduces the headmistress and together they defeat Spectre one more time.
I’d watch that movie. But for those who see the 007 character as a misogynistic creep they look to end Bond’s bawdy puns and to stop treating women as an excuse to roll in the hay between killing bad guys.
I just don’t think it can happen. For example, how would you fix these three wildly sexist quips from Bond movies past?
Vesper Lynd: “If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you’d still be more of a man than anyone I’ve ever known.”
James Bond: “That’s because you know what I can do with my little finger…”
Verity: “I see you handle your weapon well.”
James Bond: “I have been known to keep my tip up.”
James Bond: “I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.”
Moneypenny: “You always were a cunning linguist, James.”
See what I mean? If anyone wants to take a stab at James Bond reformation, I’d like to see you try. You can reach me via email at ShermFrederick@gmail.com.
VP-SPEAK
This has been pointed out many times before but it’s worth repeating as California’s favorite daughter, Kamala Harris, is the back-up for an 80-year-old President Joe Biden. When you look at the content of her latest statements word-for-word, you realize she is literally unintelligible. This is the latest example:
“I feel very strongly about the importance as a general matter of engaging in U.S. policy as it relates to foreign affairs in a way that we pay attention, of course, to the immediate concerns and threats if they exist, but that we also pay attention to 10, 20, 30 years down the line and what we are developing now that will be to the benefit of our country then.”
I don’t remember Ms. Harris this vapid when she was bumping around the Bay Area. What happened to her?
NOT ALAMEDA
Marin County has its own justice challenges as the Marin Civil Grand Jury said in a recent report. But, at least we’re not Alameda County. Get a load of this reporting in the San Jose newspaper:
“Black people are at least 10 times more likely to be incarcerated than White people in Alameda County according to City of Oakland data. The Santa Rita Jail is currently operating under a consent decree due to its failure to provide “minimally adequate” mental health care and conditions on confinement. Allegations of systemic racism have rocked police departments in the county.”
Mexican space alien mummy.
U.S. Senate mummy.
ALIEN MUMMIES
Last week members of Mexico’s Congress were presented with mummies of space aliens. According to the Associated Press, Mexican journalist José Jaime Maussan presented two boxes with supposed mummies found in Peru, which he and others consider “non-human beings that are not part of our terrestrial evolution.”
In other mummy news, Nancy Pelosi, 83, has announced she will run again for Congress. Other congressional specimens in America’s gerontocracy include: Dianne Feinstein, 90, Charles Grassley, 89, Bill Pascrell Jr., 86, Eleanor Holmes Norton, 86, Harold Rogers, 85, Maxine Waters, 85, Steny Hoyer, 84, James Clyburn, 83, Danny Davis, 82, Bernie Sanders, 82, John Carter, 81, Mitch McConnell, 81, and whippersnapper Joe Biden, 80.
ONE MORE THING
Thanks for spending time in this little corner of Bay Area journalism. Until next time, avoid soreheads, laugh a little and always question authority.
(“Properly Subversive” is a commentary written by Sherman R. Frederick for Marinscope Community Newspapers, the “mother ship” of the Novato Advance, the Ross Valley Reporter, the San Rafael News-Pointer, Mill Valley Herald, Twin City Times and the Sausalito Marin Scope. Mr. Frederick leads Battle Born Media, a news organization dedicated to the preservation of community newspapers. You can reach him by email at shermfrederick@gmail.com.)
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