To brush off 2020 with some sense of humor, here’s a bit from a clever writer friend of mine who recently wondered what the future Trump pardon list might look like. Feel free to add your own. (Hat Tip Steve Sebelius.)
Dr. Hannibal Lecter
Khan Noonian Singh
Dr. René Emile Belloq
Russell “Stringer” Bell
The website Nextdoor is a reminder that there are some cranky people living in your neighborhood. For example, take a look at this rant published recently in Novato Nextdoor.
“Hello neighbors. My wife observed yesterday (Dec. 19) a makeshift church at the Square Shopping Center in San Marin right next to Novato Zone, is still having INDOOR SERVICES!!! She said the whole parking lot on the side of the Novato Zone store was FULL. She said she observed a ton of people going in and sitting down right next to each other for the service. Like, what the hell?!?! I’ve reported this 3x already since September and all the police have done is go to them (after they were done and gone mind you) and tell them the law and to wear masks. Which, per witness store owners, still isn’t happening as of yesterday. Novato PD also told me to call the Health Department, but all I reached was a message machine. So how (expletive deleted) can we stop this violation of the law and public health order if no one is available for an immediate response?”
I get the health point. But freedom of religion, even in Marin, is a specially protected right. Neither the PD or the health department can, or should, do anything about it.
CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPE
Remember when mom said you’d get her family Christmas cookie recipe over her dead body? Well … here you go.
MAKES YOU THINK
Here’s a factoid courtesy of the Associated Press:
“A record 621 people died of drug overdoses in San Francisco so far this year, a staggering number that far outpaces the 173 deaths from COVID-19 the city has seen thus far.”
Sometimes I wonder whether we have the COVID-19 pandemic in perspective.
After all the wrangling in Congress over the COVID stimulus bill, the American people will only get $600 each. Out of trillions? That’s it. Thank’s a lot, Congresscritters. You are amazing. Also, my advice to you is DO NOT Google what else is in the bill. You won’t be happy.
ONE MORE THING
— At 12:01 Jan. 1 hindsight will actually be 2020.
— I ordered 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup. It was won ton.
— Ain’t nobody knows a double-negative makes a positive.
— Wouldn’t Iron Man and Fe-male be the same person?
— Chinese take-out, $12. Tip, $3. Getting home and finding out they forgot part of the order, riceless.
— And Jesus said: “Pick up your taco and walk.”
I’m going to hell for that last one about a miracle taco. Sorry. I’ll pick up my knitting and let myself out. See you next year. Be kind. Wear a mask.
(Sherman R. Frederick is the founder of Battle Born Media, a journalist-based, family-owned company dedicated to the preservation of intensely local community newspapers. You can follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/sherm.frederick/. He may be reached at email@example.com.)